When I was in seminary, I did a whole lot of walking with Cotton the dog. We used to wander up and down the Cumberland Plateau, by herds of deer on the trails, enjoying the paradise of Sewanee.

So, I know it's hard to tell looking at me now, but there was a time when I was a winner! Back when I was 16, I was the top swimmer in the state of Tennessee. Nobody could beat me at the 100 meter freestyle. It's not that I was better...I was unbeaten. And that's something. So, I want to tell you about this one race.

So, way back in the last century, in 1997, Robert Duvall starred in a movie called “The Apostle.” It's about a Pentecostal preacher named Sonny Dewey, who, for reasons I won't go into, becomes a fugitive, ditches his old identity, rebaptizes himself, and becomes a new man, the Apostle E. F. It's a pretty good movie with really good acting by Duvall and Farrah Fawcett among others.

So, that land between Samaria and Galilee is where we find Jesus today. And I can’t count the number of times I have preached the story of the healing of the lepers, and always I have gone to the experience of the lepers — wondering at the one who was given eyes of faith and understanding enough so that he returned to give thanks. And imagining what the other nine were doing?

So, there is a small book written by Stephanie LeLand called Random Acts of Kindness by Animals. In it, there is a story about sparrows. In a street in Italy, a fallen sparrow lay helplessly. Soon many other sparrows surrounded it, trying to carry it to safety, away from the heavy traffic.

So, one Sunday at St. James, Knoxville, we were having a reception for newly confirmed members with the bishop, when Little Jimmy staggered in. Usually, he would wander in before the worship service, asking folks for a few dollars before he went to one of the back pews for his nap. But this time his arrival was later than usual.

So, she came into the coffee shop every single day, even on the weekends. She was amazingly subdued and very quiet, unlike Angry Mike, the guy who gave her a ride to work during the week. She would sit in the corner with her seeing eye dog, Tanner, and drink her coffee and eat her cinnamon bagel with peanut butter.

Jesus is about to leave his beloved disciples; knowing the anguish and fear they will be feeling. He also knows their hearts are true and strong. That’s probably part of why he picked them. They will carry on and each in their own way they will share their stories and love of God. That is what I know God has called me to do as a Christian.

So, first off I would like to thank the good folks here at Epiphany for inviting members of St. Andrew's, St. Matthew's, and Emmanuel to worship with you. It is very generous, opening up your doors to us. And don't think we don't appreciate the fact that you have guarded our northern flank for years against those Madison County heathens! We rest easier just knowing you are on guard.

Back when I was in St. James in Knoxville, the church was located in the Northern part of downtown near a bunch of homeless service agencies. This church had these really high ceilings, white-washed walls, two stories of stained glass windows, and marble floors perfect for soaring hymns to echo off of. It was a beautiful space, no two ways about it, but it was also a little bit intimidating. And the folks who came on Sunday were upper crust folks from law offices, the university, doctors...you know...pretty rich. Dressed to the nines on Sunday. Exchanging business cards. But really nice, caring people who lived out a life of Jesus as much as they could possibly do.

So, the other day I was watching a documentary created by some American college students filmed several years ago. It took place in Arusha, Tanzania, 50 miles or so from the snows of Kilimanjaro. Arusha is a bustling city, and is amazingly international.

So, the other day I spent some time in the dentist’s chair. A old metal filling had finally “rusted” and broken off the front half of a tooth. And I was being fitted for a crown.

I couldn't have been more than six years old. My mom and dad and I had gone camping with some friends. We had just arrived at the campsite where we would be spending the next week, and the men were pitching the tent. And my mom and her girlfriend had started the fire going. It had been a long drive for me and my buddies and we were eager to get out of the car and go explore down at the lake.

So, this being the holiday season, I think it's incumbent on us to focus on the reason for the season...Santa Claus.

So, when I was little, I learned something amazing. My great-grandfather, Orem, was a wizard. He could do the most incredible magic out of thin air.

So, this being Halloween, I feel it incumbent to tell a Halloween story. Not a spooky one, however. I have plenty of haint stories, but they can wait for some other time. What I want to talk about is my neighborhood on Halloween in the late sixties.

Do y’all remember the movie “Back to the Future?” You know, that time travel film starring Michael J. Fox? Well, the other day, a friend of mine posted a Back to the Future themed question on Facebook: “If you could do your own time traveling and go back to 1985, what advice would you give yourself?”

So, a few weeks ago, I was up around Otselic, and I saw a rusted out old car covered with religious bumper stickers. One of them caught my eye out of them all: JESUS IS THE ANSWER TO ALL MY QUESTIONS.

So, there is a restaurant in Chattanooga called Bea's. It's been there since about forever, at least before I was born. It serves true Southern food. Barbecue pork, green beans, pinto beans, creamed potatoes, chow chow, yeast rolls, some kind of cobbler, pitchers of obscenely sweet tea, and the crown jewel – the most amazing fried chicken in the world.

Folks, I do not like this. See, Jesus has a hard truth for us in the Gospel this morning, and I don’t know about y’all, but I don’t like what he has to say. Not one bit. And I don’t like it because it hits way too close to home.