June 12, 2022 by Lynne Walton
John 16:12 “Jesus said to the disciples, "I still have many things to say to you,”
Jesus is about to leave his beloved disciples; knowing the anguish and fear they will be feeling. He also knows their hearts are true and strong. That’s probably part of why he picked them. They will carry on and each in their own way they will share their stories and love of God. That is what I know God has called me to do as a Christian.
I loved my job at Procter & Gamble, taking care of people and keeping them safe. For 32 years I tried my very best to make work safer and easier for my co-workers. Even when the grumpy guys at Woods Corners didn’t like wearing respirators to protect their lungs from the new pharmaceuticals, or wearing hot Tyvek suits around asbestos, I kept them laughing with jokes and cartoons. I brought in extra juice for breaks and gave them goofy awards for safety compliance. I took time to explain the fear I had for their health when they retired if all of us didn’t follow new rules.
Some union workers thought I was a spy for the managers. I told them my job was to keep the managers out of jail because of new OSHA laws and that meant I was really working for all employees. Then people started to tell me their stories and their problems to see if I could help. As much as I worked to improve work problems, it seems I also spent time listening, and I pray helping by listening, to many non-work problems.
That may have been the start of my deacon training. Of course, after we were transferred to Ohio for my work, John and I always came back to Chenango in the summer for our vacation. We knew we would move back here once I retired, and I always said I wanted to help Fr. Chuck with the churches then. In truth, my dream would be to stay and be so involved with all my home churches. But I had to answer a question: did I want to just have a blast at being a super busy church lady or take on the serious mantle of being an Episcopal Deacon?
Foolish me, I thought I was asking myself this question. After my second discernment meeting at St. Margaret’s House, when I got home, I am honestly telling you that I heard God in my head saying “I am asking you to be a deacon” as though he was standing off behind me to my right. I actually turned my head to look in that direction and as tears came to my eyes I said aloud “Yes, yes I will be a deacon.”
It is so hard to explain that sensation of being called that is so certain in your mind yet sounds so dubious to others. As I stand here now, an ordained Deacon, sworn to follow and obey my Bishop, my mind is reeling with questions for God. What do you want next? What do I need to learn? Am I able to do this? When may I serve my home parish?
Yes, I would love to stay here and work with Fr. Steve to serve my favorite people.
I know that just doing what I want to do will not bring me happiness or satisfaction. If I have learned anything in all the courses and readings and my life experiences is that following God’s call is not an easy task. To really do the job of a Christian means getting up off your comfort zone and stepping into the wilderness of human feelings. That’s the frontier edge of the Kingdom of God and it is wherever we are. Yet, we can get to be too familiar with it sometimes.
I use sawdust for my chickens and for my cats. I hate having to “scoop” out the litter boxes for my three cats. So, when we moved to the country where I had acres of fields around the house, I used sawdust as litter in boxes with covers that have handles. Now I just carry the lightweight boxes out to the edge of the yard and toss the entire mess into the field. I am recycling rather than sending clay to the landfill. John is vicious with the tractor mower-deck keeping two acres mowed for a yard.
When I walk out to the edge of the yard to toss the litter, the wildness of the field surprises me. A mother snake curled up laying her eggs, an intensely yellow moth, a tiny flower blooming on a slender stem, or so many spittle bugs on weed stalks that it looks like a futuristic city scape are the many scenes I see. But I only see them when I stop to look and take them in, otherwise it is just a field. I think being in Chenango too much may dull my deacon sense to the wilderness of spirits that God wants me to tend to. So, with eagerness to follow my call, I will get to know the people of St. Stephen’s. Maybe in a year I will learn to look afresh in St. Matthew’s neighborhood, St. Andrew’s side streets, and Emmanuel’s downtown parks for work our churches can do to spread the Kingdom of God.
Right now, my cup runneth over, with all the love poured out for me. All of you have been such strength and encouragement to me through a long process. The ordination service yesterday was beautiful and so meaningful all because many people, including Fr. Steve, put forth loving effort to set it up. I am grateful for and humbled by all the tasks and the prayers offered up for me. Answering a call to God is hard and I could not have gotten here without so many helping me all the way. I thank you with all my heart.
God is love and by the power of love created us, Jesus -eternally begotten- came down to tell us about love, and through the Holy Spirit we share the power of love. Today is Trinity Sunday when we proclaim our faith in the triune God. Jesus had many things to say to his disciples because he loved them so much and still he had to leave their physical presence. God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit are with us always. I love you all but I cannot share Sundays with you for a while. So keep the faith, y’all. Amen.