So, the other day, Fr. Brooks texted me to fuss at me. I won't go into the details...suffice it to say, whatever it was he said I did, well, I did! He ended by asking if everything was alright, that he thought our relationship was a bit off. And I suppose it was. But here's the interesting part, or at least the part that matters today: I responded with a long text listing off all the reasons I could think of as to why this was so. Six reasons, to be exact.
But let's face it...they weren't reasons. They were excuses. I've been thinking about excuses this week because we encounter Adam and Eve in one of my favorite Genesis stories. The excuse-a-rama. Everyone pointing fingers. Nope, wasn't me, it was her. Nope, wasn't me, ask that thing. And sometimes I think the point of the story isn't the “Fall of Man,” due to some sin or some misunderstanding. The real point is how quickly excuses enter into the equation when it comes to relationships between God and each other.
French filmmaker Jean Renoir once said that nowadays "Everyone has his reasons." And that seems to be the case even as far back as...well, as far back as the beginning. And what may be the saddest part of the story: those reasons, those excuses, are no more interesting than what we spout off now. They're actually kind of embarrassing.
I got curious and went to the source of all knowledge – Google. I wanted to know if anyone had done a study to determine just how much of what we say on any given day are excuses. I have not found this out – it should be a good doctoral thesis for somebody. But I did find out that there are nearly 75 synonyms for “excuse,” so I reckon we make a lot of them.
And I learned about a teacher in New York City, named Frank McCourt, who has collected
“parental” excuses for students not turning in homework or being late or whatnot. And “parental” is in air quotes, because in reality, it was the students themselves who wrote them. They were clearly forged.
What interested McCourt, however, and why he saved the excuse notes, is how beautifully written they were. You see, he was an English teacher, and the notes were better than the actual assignments his students would hand in. He says, "If their parents could read those notes they'd discover their kids capable of the finest American prose: fluent, imaginative, clear, dramatic, fantastic, focused, persuasive, useful."
So one day McCourt gave his students an in-class assignment: write an excuse note from Adam or Eve to God. He says that when the bell for lunch rang, the kids were still working and didn't want to stop. McCourt adds that it was some of the best writing they ever did, AND they came up with some awesome excuses for Adam and Eve.
Clearly we are good at this excuse-making stuff. The Bible is full of them. Not just Adam and Eve. Their son, Cain, gets in on the act. Moses is chock full of excuses, offering one right after the other, every time God says, “No, seriously, Moses, I want you to go to Egypt and free my people.” Finally, when he's out of excuses, he just whines a little, till God just gets frustrated and says, “Because I said so, that is why.”
And it doesn't stop there. Large chunks of the Bible devoted to blaming leaders and making excuses for their behavior. Excuses over why Israel is defeated and Judah goes into exile. Excuses of why kings did what they did, and priests acted the way they acted. Even in our Gospel reading, Jesus' family is trying to make excuses for him: “Clearly he's crazy. Nobody with a lick of sense would do these things for THOSE people.”
And it seems that so often, folks who encounter Jesus, then in the Gospels and now in our own lives, we offer up excuses as to why following is hard or needs to be put off until a better time. In one parable Jesus offers up a broad invitation to follow him to God's banquet in the Kingdom of Heaven. And immediately the excuses start. "I've just bought some real estate and I need to put up some “Posted” signs, sorry" "I've just bought some new farm equipment – two oxen – and I want to take them out for a test drive." "I just got married. I'll be on my honeymoon."
And here's the thing. Those who offer those excuses miss out on something wonderful. They might even be good excuses, but those good excuses prevent those people from experiencing the learning about and learning from God.
I think the hard lesson for us all to learn is this: excuses have no place in Christian life, in our theology, and in our mission. As Christians, we don't have to make excuses.
Now, I'm not stupid, or at least I'm not that stupid. As people we will always make excuses for our behavior. We will always say, in the words of that great philosopher, Britney Spears, “Oops, I did it again.” We will always give excuses, out of fear or embarrassment or a dozen other reasons. But the fact is we don't NEED to.
We don't need to offer self-justifying excuses for one simple reason: we can't justify ourselves. That is God's job. Our faith, this crazy, Jesus-led, Spirit-filled faith, this weird way that we walk, makes us free to recognize that we are not perfect people. We are able to admit that we rely totally on the perfect love of God. So instead of excuses, we Christians can fall back on something at times more difficult, yet more freeing: confession and forgiveness. Confession of our sins and iniquities to God and each other, no excuses needed. Because we also practice atonement and forgiveness, not justification and perfection.
I keep thinking about my text message back to Brooks. What if, instead of excuses, I had said, “You know, I haven't been a good friend lately. I've been wrapped up in myself, and that's wrong and selfish. I can't love my best friend if I'm busy thinking of myself. I am sorry and ask you to forgive me.” What if I had said that?
What if we turned all our excuses into confessions and all our justifications into forgiveness? What if we as churches consistently offered forgiveness to one another? Would we need excuses anymore? After all, this is how Jesus calls us to live.
Look, we know that in the world it will be excuses, excuses, excuses. And sometimes it will be that way with us, as well. Habits are hard to break. But what if we really believed in the forgiveness of God and could rely on the forgiveness of one another? What if, instead of excuses, excuses, excuses, we heard forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness?
How crazy is that?