So, my mom got a divorce. And frankly, I’m glad. I really believe that if she hadn’t, she would not be alive. Neither would I. And when she got that divorce, she became a success in work, a hero at home, and an all-around amazing human being. In fact, I’d actually say out loud and in front of everybody that her divorce was a moral good.
So, I have a really hard time with what Jesus is saying in the Gospel reading this morning. And all I could think of in this last week were all the women and families I know personally who NEEDED to do this thing that NOBODY wants to do. But, dang, Jesus, why are you saying these things?
Then, the other day, I remembered something that happened when I was a fresh priest.
It was a busy week at St. James Knoxville, I didn't know if I was coming or going, and a woman popped into my office unannounced and said she needed to talk to me. As she sat down she said, “Maybe this should be in the guise of a confession,” and she chuckled nervously. I was put on edge, expecting something really awful.
Then she began to talk. Her issue was this: she didn't like her husband. Or maybe worse, she felt no emotion at all. He was just a guy who lived in the same house. They ran across each other occasionally, but when they did, there was the kind of small talk reserved for mere acquaintances.
There was no hate, but there wasn't any love. There was nothing. And she was going to file for divorce. And she felt bad about that. Not bad for how her husband would feel. He was of the same opinion, – there was nothing at all there. But she felt bad because she failed the idea of marriage. And she wanted advice.
And I called upon all my wisdom in these matters and said, “Well, we all have our limits.”
That was it. That was all I had to say. “Well, we all have our limits.”
I didn't know what else to say. But what I DID say seemed as listless as her marriage, as empty as their lives. And she nodded, sighed a little, and left. And that was that, and I went back to my busy schedule.
Today, people in the crowd ask Jesus about divorce. They remind him that Moses allowed for divorce. Hebrew law permitted a man to divorce his wife for all sorts of reasons.
They aren't really seeking advice; they are wanting him to trick him into saying something that will make his followers start to peel off, thinking, “This guy is going against the Law; he's asking the impossible.”
But, folks, every other time Jesus talks about marriage, he is using it as a metaphor for something else, for how God loves us. So maybe we are seeing here the great difference between God and ourselves. And just like that, what Jesus was saying is made clear.
This isn't about divorce at all, the ending of an earthly marriage, it's about divine relationship, it's about our life with God.
You see, in our lives we all have our limits. We make promises, and sometimes we keep them, but sometimes we simply cannot. People change, people disappoint, people become trapped, addicted, distant, abused, and estranged.
And relationships break down, because we are broken people. Imperfect people. Most people don’t live their lives wanting to hurt others or be hurt by them. But we have our limits.
Sometimes we find it impossible to keep our promises. Sometimes promises are broken for all sorts of "good" reasons. Sometimes relationships of all kinds are so broken (sometimes to the point of violence) that we cannot -- AND SHOULD NOT -- remain in them.
For our sake and safety and sanity - and for the sake and safety and sanity of those we love.
But I think that in today's gospel, Jesus is using the idea of marriage to make clear that God is not like that. God is the one who, from the very beginning, makes union, fosters communion and togetherness. God is the one who brings individuals together into community.
That's how we got the church. God took us as different individuals, many of us quite unlike one another, and brought us together into communion with God in the church.
Here in the Gospel of Mark, we finally see that while we may have our limits in our relationships with each other, while we often separate ourselves from loving others in all sorts of ways and in all sorts of circumstances- some good and some bad - God will never divorce US, and in Jesus we see just how far God will go for us--all the way to death on a cross.
And on his way to that cross, Jesus takes a moment to teach us. And once again, he has set the bar high. The disciples of Jesus are not to divorce themselves from the world, from loving others.
The disciples of Jesus are to have compassion, and mercy for the needs of the "little ones" whether they be children or those among us in need of love and justice. And in so many ways we will fail to live up to the Kingdom's demands. After all, we all have our limits.
But God doesn't. God loves us limited human beings in a limitless divine way. Oh, we fail in love; after all, we are "only human." But we have a God who forgives our failures, who loves us in spite of our limits to love in return.
So maybe today's gospel is not that severe, frightening news of setting the moral standards so high that there is no way that we can ever reach the bar. Maybe today's gospel is the good news that in spite our limits and failures, God is limitlessly loving and always faithful.
I had actually forgotten about that encounter with that parishioner until recently when she sent me a Christmas card. Part of my regret is that I might have given rotten advice. But certainly part of it was that I didn't even pray with her or for her. I was so busy, and after all, we all have our limits.
But thanks be to God, she still felt a connection, and I can pray for her today as she prayed for me in that card, knowing that our limitless God has been with us all along, holding us and comforting us. And that same God can love me and forgive me my limits and still find some way to use me for good.
God can use all of us for good.